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Thursday, June 2, 2011

So, if monkeys ever learn to speak...

...apparently we'll burn them to death.

Half-man, half-bat, half-pig...but all stylish

You know what I like best about ManBatPig? When he changes into human form, he wears a suit. Witnesses didn't say what kind of suit, but I'm thinking Armani, or at least Brooks Brothers. Nobody said shapeshifting horrors from beyond this dimension had to be downscale!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sargeant, arrest that goat!

I tell ya, ya just never know when a goat might turn out to be a shapeshifting thief. Just like you can never tell if a random chicken is actually a transmogrified rapist, or if Bessy the milk-cow might actually be a 1987 graduate of the Yale Business School on the run for securities fraud.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Penis snatchers in Benin

Well, since it sounded like a good idea at the time, why not a series of posts on African witchcraft panics? Here's one about a magical thief on the loose in the country of Benin who's using his juju to rob you of, ahem. Let's start again. Here's a magical thief who's using his mojo to rob you of'm having a little trouble with the rhymes here...there's an unscrupulous wizard who's jonesing to take away your gizzard...ah crap, no. In Benin there are witches whose power it is to shrink, and lately they've been focused on your...dink. Okay, let's go with that one, shall we?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Let's play: whose kid is that?

Look to da choppas! Check out the teeth on that kid. Now, what celeb sports such an appalling orthodontal condition? Hint: it's not Madonna (in this case).

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Strauss-Kahn's real accuser, Nafissatou Diallo

The woman below is NOT Dominique Strauss-Kahn's actual accuser. DSK's actual accuser is a 32-year old woman from Guinea, not Ghana, named Nafissatou Diallo:

The internet media got the identity of the accuser wrong, wrong, WRONG!

In addition, I, Emmanuel Goldstein, also posted an incorrect picture of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, for which I apologize. THIS is the correct photo of the man who nearly became President of France:

The Gallic charm is unmistakeable.