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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Penis snatchers in Benin

Well, since it sounded like a good idea at the time, why not a series of posts on African witchcraft panics? Here's one about a magical thief on the loose in the country of Benin who's using his juju to rob you of your...um...hoohoo...ah, ahem. Let's start again. Here's a magical thief who's using his mojo to rob you of your...um...jojo...I'm having a little trouble with the rhymes here...there's an unscrupulous wizard who's jonesing to take away your gizzard...ah crap, no. In Benin there are witches whose power it is to shrink, and lately they've been focused on your...dink. Okay, let's go with that one, shall we?

http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/04/23/us-witchcraft-idUSN2319603620080423

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Magic penises and wives who turn into snails...

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Magic-penis-killing-set-for-trial-date-20110525

Somebody could do a blog on African witchcraft stories alone.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Let's play: whose kid is that?


Look to da choppas! Check out the teeth on that kid. Now, what celeb sports such an appalling orthodontal condition? Hint: it's not Madonna (in this case).

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Strauss-Kahn's real accuser, Nafissatou Diallo

The woman below is NOT Dominique Strauss-Kahn's actual accuser. DSK's actual accuser is a 32-year old woman from Guinea, not Ghana, named Nafissatou Diallo:


The internet media got the identity of the accuser wrong, wrong, WRONG!

In addition, I, Emmanuel Goldstein, also posted an incorrect picture of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, for which I apologize. THIS is the correct photo of the man who nearly became President of France:


The Gallic charm is unmistakeable.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ophelia Famotidina: Dominique Strauss-Kahn's accuser

That's her name, and yes, this is merely a traffic-boosting ploy by yours truly. People really do want to know the "other side" of a horrible rape story, if only out of curiosity. Mrs. Famotidina is a 32-year old Muslim immigrant to the USA from Ghana.

Do you feel some sense of shame in trying to find out the name of the woman Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly raped?

Well, Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you? Now tell the truth.

Anyway, somebody immediately bought up the URL:

http://opheliafamotidina.com/

This is Mrs. Famotidina:


This is the very wealthy Frenchman accused of the crime against Mrs. Famotidina. This appears to be his booking photo:


Or maybe that's not him. Maybe that's a wrinkle-faced fruit bat. I have trouble telling those ugly little fruit bats and wizened, flaccid, perverse, elderly, arrogant European sybarites apart a lot of the time.

I guess by making the comparison I'm deeply insulting the wrinkle-faced fruit bats, who by all accounts are well-behaved little frugivores who never cause any problems for the NYPD.

Monday, May 2, 2011

So...what does Taiwan think about the dead bin Laden?

The burning question we've all been wondering...what is Taiwan's reaction to bin Laden's death?



Okay, so maybe it's not the reaction of Taiwan as a whole, but it is the reaction of a couple of Taiwanese computer animators on Youtube. And that's good enough for me, damn it!

Be sure to enjoy bin Laden's gangbang fate in Hell.

The fake bin Laden death picture

Manny Goldstein, always here meeting all your fake, dead bin Laden needs:

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sikhs have sword fight in Queens, NY

I don't know much about the Sikh religion. But they seem pretty pissed, which tells me this isn't a part of their usual practice. Nevertheless, it's the coolest video I've seen from the inside of any temple in ages. Hell, if every Sunday morning turned into something out of "Captain Blood" my ass would be in that pew without fail.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/RAW_VIDEO___Sword_Fight_at_Sikh_Temple_New_York-120738319.html